Family Love.. not there

Well ever since I was a little girl I realized I was never really "loved" by my family and it's not like my family just didn't know how to love. They just didn't know how to love me I was the forgotten one... well not forgotten just there to be made fun of. I never had confidence as a child I just always smiled because that's just me. I never liked the way I was treated but I just accepted it for what it was because I had friends who cared not to many but enough to keep me going. Then I moved away from everything that kept me going and it seems like they have moved on in life with out me like a page in their scrapbook. I made new friends yes but I don't know them well enough for them to be there and well I am mute. Not as talkative just sit there and act like nothing is wrong and they don't realize because they don't know me. I just wish I could find that one person that's going to always be there. One day I will and that will keep me going till the day I die even if I don't find that person.